i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
