Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
