i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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