clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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