Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
