what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
