You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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