How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
