drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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