What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
