even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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