It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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