why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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