Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
