is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
