Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she peed on how many people?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
