I'm drive I can fine osifer
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
