Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
birth control should be required to get into college
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
