Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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