Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
