Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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