It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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