okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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