He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
