Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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