She announced her abortion via fbk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
