I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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