he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
