I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
