Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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