question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There are leaves in my underwear?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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