Buhtt sex?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
