don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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