i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
