P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
