Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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