kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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