I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
