we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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