I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
