he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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