Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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