i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
