the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
