He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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