The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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