Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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