he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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