i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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