IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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