you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
