this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
