Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
