just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
