First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
