It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
