I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
