do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
