roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
