I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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