To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i out mim tonsoeep
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