We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
