So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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